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November 14, 2018 ljsharks

About ljsharks

Lauren J. Sharkey is a Korean American writer from Long Island, NY. Her debut novel, INCONVENIENT DAUGHTER is forthcoming June 23, 2020, and is based on her experience as a transracial adoptee. Sharkey's creative nonfiction has appeared on DEAR ADOPTION,, Blind Faith Books' I AM STRENGTH collection, and others.

View all posts by ljsharks

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As an adoptee, one of my biggest trauma responses

As an adoptee, one of my biggest trauma responses was the need to plan, organize, and prepare for any and all scenarios. This behavior not only dominated my personal life, but also made me efficient and dependable in the workplace.⁣
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Since my behavior was often looked at as "positive", or was rewarded with promotions or praise, it was difficult for me to feel, process, and understand the feelings of trauma or high-stress situations.⁣
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It's something I constantly have to work on. That being said, I feel like my trauma might have just actually been training for wedding planning.⁣
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You 𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞 I've already got spreadsheets, timelines, and my wedding website up. Wedding planning ain't got nothing on this adoptee!⁣
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Please note, this post is not meant to poke fun at, minimize, or make light of the trauma of relinquishment or adoption. This is simply my view of how my trauma response is helping me through a stressful time, and trying to remind myself to still feel the joy of engagement and not let planning overtake me.⁣
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#adoption #adoptionjourney #adoptee #adopteevoices #adopteestories #adopteemovement #adopteesconnect #adopteesspeak #adopteereads #adopteereading #kad #koreanadoptee #tra #transracialadoptee #adopteecommunity

Dearest friends, I would like to thank each and ev

Dearest friends, I would like to thank each and every person who has given Bryan and me their love, support, and encouragement these past few days. It means so much to us that so many of you are sharing in the love and excitement surrounding the next chapter of our love story.⁣
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I am doing my best to make my way through all the comments. Please know your love and support is so appreciated, and we are so looking forward to our happily ever after.⁣

📸: @jeronimocreative
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#pandamuffwedding

Happiness and fear have come in waves these past f

Happiness and fear have come in waves these past few days, and I imagine it will continue that way for some time...even after I am married. Being an adoptee sometimes feels as though I am sentenced to a lifetime of uncertainty and distrust in others and myself.⁣
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I know it's no way to live, but it's how I've managed to survive this long. What's changed for me in the past day or so, though, is that I don't want to just survive anymore.⁣
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#adoption #adoptionjourney #adoptee #adopteevoices #adopteestories #adopteemovement #adopteesconnect #adopteesspeak #adopteereads #adopteereading #kad #koreanadoptee #tra #transracialadoptee #adopteecommunity

Those of you who know me know April hasn't exactly

Those of you who know me know April hasn't exactly been an easy month for me. Bryan and I were forced to make peace with leaving Pittsburgh and moving to Philly way closer than we had anticipated. Situations and people in my personal life had brought on great stress. The bright spot in all of that was a couple's photo shoot to commemorate the time in the city which we had come to call home - but that too looked like it might be compromised.⁣
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On the morning of, our photographer - knowing we wanted good weather and warmer temps - asked if we wanted to reschedule. I was in pure fuck it mode and said we were game - we were doing this.⁣
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We spent the morning running around - getting hair and makeup done, and picking up a box of doughnuts that would change my life.⁣
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There aren't enough good things I can say about @jeronimocreative, and the way he brought us and our love to life. He was professional, caring, and deeply invested in making an already special moment absolutely incredible. If you or someone you know is looking for any type of photo in the Pittsburgh area, do yourself a favor and give him a call - there's no way he could disappoint. ⁣
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Here are my ten favs from yesterday - now the hard part is picking which one to print! #pandamuffwedding

Today, Bryan asked me to grow old and smelly and w

Today, Bryan asked me to grow old and smelly and wrinkly together, and I said, "Yes!"⁣⁣⁣
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I'll give you guys the deets as soon as I come down from cloud nine...which might be a while. 💛⁣⁣⁣
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Also, shoutout to Jonathan, the best photographer and co-conspirator of this surprise proposal ever! ⁣
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Special thanks to:⁣⁣⁣
📸: @jeronimocreative⁣⁣⁣
💇‍♀️: @hairfreedombybeks at @drybar_pittsburgh⁣⁣⁣
💄: @candace_pghbeautybar at @pittsburghbeautybar⁣⁣⁣
👗 & 👠: @torrid⁣⁣⁣

#isaidyes #engagedaf #pandamuffwedding

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘚𝘩𝘰

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘵⁣
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Yes, those are in fact tie dye lounge pants. ⁣
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It’s not exactly sunny here in Pittsburgh but it’s not raining so there’s that silver lining! Please pray the weather holds out and the sun makes an appearance! Also, wouldn’t be opposed to warmer temps since it’s 42 degrees 🤣

Nail Artist: Oh your dress is so pretty! Do you wa

Nail Artist: Oh your dress is so pretty! Do you want to do French or a nice pink?
Me: #paintitblack

I was supposed to leave at 5am but I can’t sleep

I was supposed to leave at 5am but I can’t sleep. So I’m Philly bound, heading towards the sunrise. Send good vibes if you can 💛

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